Life with Me, Jackabee: People I love to Hate at the Gym & Then Some

Happy Hump Day Everyone! I hope your week is going swell thus far and it only continues to get better!

Back in early March, Danielle and I decided that it was about darn time that we started working out and getting back into our fitness routines. Of course, the best way to do anything is with a friend so she signed up at my gym and we started going regularly. Of course, with any experience there are things that happen that are just.plain.irritating. A few weeks ago I came across this funny article on BlogHer that I just had to share with you all {+ add a few of my own} because it hit most of my irritations spot on. For the original link, click here.

8 People I Love to Hate at the Gym

According to Menopausal Mother, 8 people we love to hate at the gym are:

1. MIRROR HOGS: These are the women who run into class late and scoot in front to get a spot by the mirror. Coincidentally, they're the same people who lack coordination and throw the entire class off. I can't be responsible for what happens if my elbow connects with their face.

2. YAPPERS: After living on rabbit food for a month, the last thing I want to hear about is your orgasmic experience with a seven-layer brownie cake.

3. POOPERS: These ladies drop their stink bombs off in the gym bathroom before hitting the treadmills. I understand the need to clean out the bowels before working out, but do us all a favor and take your fiber supplements AFTER you exercise.

4. DNA SWAPPERS: Some people think nothing of leaving sweat puddles on the equipment or hacking up a lung while recovering from the flu. DNA samples are not necessary unless a forensics team needs them after drawing your chalk outline on the gym floor.

5. CHRONIC FARTERS: These women have blow holes like whales and no interest in corking it for the sake of other people's olfactory systems. When I Zumba into their fart clouds, my nose hairs feel singed and my eyes water as if I've been hit by tear gas.

6. EXHIBITIONISTS: Women who come to the gym in shorts that reveal every inch of uncovered lady bits and tank tops begging for a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Go buy a freakin' bra.

7. EQUIPMENT HOGS: These people get lost in a daydream and sit for an hour on the machine instead of doing their reps. Makes me wish I had a pocket defibrillator or a taser to shock them into moving.

8. BARBIE DOLLS: You know the type. Perfect bodies. Botoxed out the butt ... and yet they whine, “OMG, I need to lose 20 pounds!” Just. Shut. Up.

On top of these already hilariously true & fantastic options, I wanted to add a few of my own:

9. GRUNTERS: I understand that you are getting a great workout, but if you could please not make noises that sound like you're having a difficult time in the bathroom, that would be great. I am already grossed out at your unnaturally large arms, I would really not like to imagine you on the toilet {Insert Lunk Alarm Noise}.

10. DROPPERS: This one ties in with the grunters. If the weight is too heavy that you cannot set it down gently {like a normal human being}, then you should probably cut back a little bit. I would really appreciate not being scared out of my skin and off of my machine while running by a loud, terrifying bang on the floor.

11: SINGERS: Yes we all love Kelly Clarkon's "Since You've Been Gone" but I think your rendition is a bit too much for everyone around you. If we really wanted to listen to the song, we would just listen to it on our own time.

So, how many of these made you laugh? I laughed at almost all of them because they are 100% true. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I am a singer (one of my biggest gripes too!) but I often get lost in what I am doing and do not realize that I am singing out loud until I have already irritated half of the people around me. That is something that I will have to start working on.

In case you did not already have a good laugh today, take a gander at this video (of course it is also fitness related). My friend, Danielle, shared this with me last week and I laughed way too hard!