Life Lessons from my Twenties

A few months back I celebrated my 30th birthday.  And I'll be honest, when I thought about hitting my 30's, it was going to be this big thing with a big party and all the fun and craziness that comes with closing out a decade.  However, I brought in my third decade with tons of joy and laughter surrounded by my closest friends and family.

Now that I've been my 30s for a few months, I thought I would share some of the most valuable things I learned in my 20s.

So here we go...

Your timeline does not need to match everyone else's timeline.

I feel like this is especially relevant for women, but men also feel this pressure too.  There is this unspoken rule that you'll go to college, graduate college at 22, get married by 25 while also starting your career, have babies and buy a house well before you turn thirty.  However, this is just so far from the truth.  Yes, there are people out there that meet this timeline.  And I am, by no means, faulting them for going for it, but that does not mean you are less-than or worthless because you are not on the same trajectory as your peer.  Your life needs to be lived the way you are to live it and not based on what everyone else is doing.

Speak your mind, respectfully.

We all have that one friend that has absolutely no filter, right? The person who just says what they're thinking even if that could hurt someone's feelings in the process.  Well let me tell you all, this was me.  I let myself get to this point where I thought my words were truth and everyone should treat them as such.  You know what I learned? I was wrong A LOT of the time.  And often when I was speaking what I thought was the truth, I was hurting the other person in the process.  Had I taken a step back and put myself in the other persons shoes, I might have seen what what I was saying could have been handled better or did not need to be handled at all.  One of the blessings of growing up is learning how to speak your truth in a manner that respects yourself and others. 

"No" is an acceptable answer.

A lot of my twenties were spent trying to please other people.  My friends want to go out? Okay! Parents want x, y, or z from me? No problem.  Husband needs me to do this? You got it.  And you know what I realized? I just plain could not do it all.  Not only was I overcommitting myself, I was simultaneously failing on 90% of the commitments I had made because I was burned out.  Eventually I came to the point that I had to start saying "no" and guess what? It was the most freeing thing I could have done for myself.  In fact, I took on the mantra: "If the answer isn't Hell Yes!, then the answer needs to be no"{Thank you Rachel Hollis}.  Obviously there are some things I cannot say no to, but in general if my gut reaction isn't to be excited then I'm generally going to just say no thank you.

Also, I'd like to add another tidbit for this: When you say no, you do not owe the other person an explanation.  This one was hard for me to accept (and those in my life to accept).  When I started saying a plain old "no thank you" to some people, their immediate response was to question why and get upset.  It can be a little awkward at first, but I promise over time that people will learn that your first "no" is the final "no" and that you will likely not provide an explanation and they need to respect that.

Friends come and go - and that's part of life.

One of the biggest (and hardest) things I went through in my twenties was having my friendship with my best friend come to an end.  Losing her left a big hole in my life that was incredibly hard to fill.  However, this also taught my some very valuable life lessons:

1. Show gratitude to your friends - make sure they know you love them

2. Speak honestly and openly, but with love

3. Apologies go a long way and should be used when appropriate

So while that experience was horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I am grateful it happened so I had the opportunity to learn so much about myself and grow in ways I otherwise would not have had the opportunity to do.

So that's it! 

Those are the four main things I learned in my 20's.  There are several other things that I learned (like it's important to have a budget) but these are the things that I learned life lessons from.

Question of the Day: What important life lessons have you learned {and ultimately grown from} that you want to share with others?

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